Mar. 8th, 2017

deza: (Secret master librarians)
In the old Irish stories, the time between dark and light was considered a time of magic. It was a between time, twilight and pre-dawn, when the sun was not in the sky but there was enough light to see. Between times, whether they are between day and night or between seasons or even between sea and stone are times and places of magic. These are where the veil between the worlds is thin, where the Fae Folk can slip through, where possibility is endless if you are willing to take the risk of grabbing it.

I'm in a between time phase of life.

Several months ago, I lost my job with no warning. My husband and I were in a strange town where we had moved just for that job, so we decided to pack up and come the 1000 miles back to family. Along the way, our RV broke down on the side of the road. Since we didn't have any income, we weren't able to retrieve it from the police impound before it was sold to cover the bills. At the same time, I couldn't make the payments on my storage unit, where nearly all of our furniture was kept.

We lost pretty much everything.

Right now, we are both working. We can stay fed. But we're living on the good graces of his parents, and the commute to get me to and from work (in a single car family, with a car I can't drive) is about 100 miles per day. A lot of our paychecks goes towards gas. Then there's keeping our phones working, and paying my child support for my son (although my ex has decided to sue me for contempt of court for not paying while I was unemployed). There have been a few times where my husband having an argument with his mom has resulted in me getting a panicked text about not having a place to stay that night.

It's not where I expected to be at 46.

This is a between phase.

We're trying to save up to get into a place of our own again. We've discussed whether it would make more sense to get another RV rather than an apartment. The initial outlay would be about the same, with the long term costs being less in a more mobile housing situation. We've talked about using this time, this space, to save up to leave the country since neither of us has confidence in where the US government is going. His job is entirely online and can be done from anywhere, and there are places where his paycheck would go a lot further than it will in Georgia.

We are starting from nothing, so we have nothing to lose.

The possibilities are endless if we have the courage to reach out and grab the life we want.

This has been my Week 11 entry for The Real LJ Idol. I had to do it in a hurry since I'm about to go sit in a court room all day tomorrow.
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