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LJ Idol Week 11: Run, Don't Walk
Living with a chronic pain condition is all about limitations. There is so much the pain forces you to give up or scale back--hobbies, walking, exercise, outings with friends, keeping up with kids and pets, sex. Not only does the pain itself limit you, dealing with the pain saps away energy and joie de vive. It's hard to maintain a positive outlook when you really want to crawl into a dark corner and whimper.
The only way I've found to keep that sense of loss from overwhelming me is to focus on what I can do, the things I can accomplish. I've learned so much about myself in dealing with my physical problems. I can push myself farther than I'd ever imagined possible. Getting out of bed is an accomplishment for me now, and it's something I do nearly every day. To put that in perspective, it's similar to going to the gym daily when I was healthier, something I was proud of myself for doing regularly. I know I have responsibilities, and I still meet most of them. I'm very proud of myself for accomplishing that much.
One of my responsibilities is sleeping curled up against my legs as I write this. I hadn't been diagnosed when we first got Guinness. I thought having a dog to walk would help me stay more active, help combat the pain by moving through it. I had dreams of training him to Search and Rescue. Obviously I'm not fit for that now--very few natural disaster sites are wheelchair-friendly--but the dog is still my responsibility to train and to keep active. He's my mobility dog now, balancing me when I walk and pulling my wheelchair when we go out for rolls together.
He loves our rolls. Guinness knows that no matter how fast he goes, I'm right there with him. He stretches out and really runs, his long legs reaching out to the pavement, putting his strength into hills and coasting down the slopes. He smiles while he does this, his mouth dropping into a doggie grin, his tail waving back and forth. Together we go farther and faster than I ever would have managed on my own. It's sheer pleasure for both of us, reveling in the feel of the wind on our faces and the exuberance of a happy young dog.
Run? I'd rather fly!
This has been my entry for Week 11 of LJ Idol. The competition is down to the top 106 writers, and there are some truly incredible essays this season! I highly recommend checking them out.
The only way I've found to keep that sense of loss from overwhelming me is to focus on what I can do, the things I can accomplish. I've learned so much about myself in dealing with my physical problems. I can push myself farther than I'd ever imagined possible. Getting out of bed is an accomplishment for me now, and it's something I do nearly every day. To put that in perspective, it's similar to going to the gym daily when I was healthier, something I was proud of myself for doing regularly. I know I have responsibilities, and I still meet most of them. I'm very proud of myself for accomplishing that much.
One of my responsibilities is sleeping curled up against my legs as I write this. I hadn't been diagnosed when we first got Guinness. I thought having a dog to walk would help me stay more active, help combat the pain by moving through it. I had dreams of training him to Search and Rescue. Obviously I'm not fit for that now--very few natural disaster sites are wheelchair-friendly--but the dog is still my responsibility to train and to keep active. He's my mobility dog now, balancing me when I walk and pulling my wheelchair when we go out for rolls together.
He loves our rolls. Guinness knows that no matter how fast he goes, I'm right there with him. He stretches out and really runs, his long legs reaching out to the pavement, putting his strength into hills and coasting down the slopes. He smiles while he does this, his mouth dropping into a doggie grin, his tail waving back and forth. Together we go farther and faster than I ever would have managed on my own. It's sheer pleasure for both of us, reveling in the feel of the wind on our faces and the exuberance of a happy young dog.
Run? I'd rather fly!
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This has been my entry for Week 11 of LJ Idol. The competition is down to the top 106 writers, and there are some truly incredible essays this season! I highly recommend checking them out.