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Comparisons
Sep. 16th, 2009 07:39 amI've seen a few blog posts about invisible illnesses that start off with some sort of apology. "I know my illnesses are nothing compared to what __________ lives with...". You know, I get it. I really do. I look at my friend Jen and know that what I feel doesn't compare to her daily agony. I also now that there but for Grace go I. I can only pray that when I'm where she is, I can have at least half the acceptance and serenity she displays to the world at large. I also know just how hard it is for her to keep up that public face, and that she doesn't believe just how good she is at it.
I'm not writing these blog posts to ask for pity or for admiration. I'm not writing about this so people will think I'm strong, or to get folks to understand why I can't do as much as I'd like. I'm not even writing in an attempt to stop getting blank looks and "ankyl-WHAT?" when I rattle off the name of my weird arthritis.
These blog entries are so that every person who wakes up crying in pain and thinking "Oh God, please don't make me get up and face another day of this" knows that they are not alone. It may not make much of a difference at 0dark30 (what's the 0 stand for? 0 God, it's early!), but maybe somewhere someone will find an obscure comfort in knowing that there are other people out there who Get It. There are people who know what it's like to start the day with that bout of despair, and power through it more often than not simply because they don't have a choice. Someone has to go to work, earn the paycheck, care for the kids no matter how much it hurts.
Pain should never be the norm for any person. It's the body saying something is wrong. It's seductively easy to just pop down ever increasing quantities of Tylenol and Aleve and Naproxen and Tramadol and Vicodin while telling ourselves that we're fine, it's just a little ache, no big deal, not worth the worry. Our lives are so busy that who has time to go to the doctor anyway? And if you don't have insurance, there are even more reasons not to get medical help. Thing is, no matter how many excuses we make, something is wrong and it will only get worse over time.
Please, listen to your body. If something is wrong, get help for it. When one doctor can't help you, ask for a referral to another. Only about 10% of hospital visits are from hypochondriacs; if you think it may be you, most likely it isn't. Some illnesses, particularly these invisible ones, take years to diagnose. The only person who can keep pushing for answers for that long is the person suffering. No matter what, don't give up on yourself. You are often your only advocate in this.
It's odd, but when Dr Elliott first held up that x-ray and said "See this? That's ankylosing spondylitis" I started crying. I was crying because I was so relieved to finally have a name for this beast. Those x-rays proved that the pain so many doctors had said was all in my head, take two Tylenol and don't call again, was real and did have a physical cause. Someone finally believed me. Someone understood.
I understand.
I'm not writing these blog posts to ask for pity or for admiration. I'm not writing about this so people will think I'm strong, or to get folks to understand why I can't do as much as I'd like. I'm not even writing in an attempt to stop getting blank looks and "ankyl-WHAT?" when I rattle off the name of my weird arthritis.
These blog entries are so that every person who wakes up crying in pain and thinking "Oh God, please don't make me get up and face another day of this" knows that they are not alone. It may not make much of a difference at 0dark30 (what's the 0 stand for? 0 God, it's early!), but maybe somewhere someone will find an obscure comfort in knowing that there are other people out there who Get It. There are people who know what it's like to start the day with that bout of despair, and power through it more often than not simply because they don't have a choice. Someone has to go to work, earn the paycheck, care for the kids no matter how much it hurts.
Pain should never be the norm for any person. It's the body saying something is wrong. It's seductively easy to just pop down ever increasing quantities of Tylenol and Aleve and Naproxen and Tramadol and Vicodin while telling ourselves that we're fine, it's just a little ache, no big deal, not worth the worry. Our lives are so busy that who has time to go to the doctor anyway? And if you don't have insurance, there are even more reasons not to get medical help. Thing is, no matter how many excuses we make, something is wrong and it will only get worse over time.
Please, listen to your body. If something is wrong, get help for it. When one doctor can't help you, ask for a referral to another. Only about 10% of hospital visits are from hypochondriacs; if you think it may be you, most likely it isn't. Some illnesses, particularly these invisible ones, take years to diagnose. The only person who can keep pushing for answers for that long is the person suffering. No matter what, don't give up on yourself. You are often your only advocate in this.
It's odd, but when Dr Elliott first held up that x-ray and said "See this? That's ankylosing spondylitis" I started crying. I was crying because I was so relieved to finally have a name for this beast. Those x-rays proved that the pain so many doctors had said was all in my head, take two Tylenol and don't call again, was real and did have a physical cause. Someone finally believed me. Someone understood.
I understand.
