Waaaaaaahhhhhhhmbulance, party of one
Apr. 14th, 2010 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dezaI've gotten used to being taken care of in a surprisingly short period of time.
You'd think that after half a lifetime of always being the caregiver, it would take more than four months for me to be used to relying on someone else. Now that I am sicker than I've ever been, it's downright scary how much I've come to rely on Andrew. Not just on the financial support and transportation, but on the comfort of knowing he's just in the next room if I need him. I guess it's not a good attitude for a military spouse to have, since he can be called away at any time, but I'm still a happier person when he's coming home every night.
Right now he's off at a conference in VA. He was supposed to be home at the end of the week; due to an accident involving a friend's toddler attemptin to fly, her fingernail and Andrew's eye it may take a bit longer before he can safely make the drive home. I'm less than thrilled by this.
Oh well, enough with the pity party. I wish he were here. Until he is, I can get the kids to bed by myself.
You'd think that after half a lifetime of always being the caregiver, it would take more than four months for me to be used to relying on someone else. Now that I am sicker than I've ever been, it's downright scary how much I've come to rely on Andrew. Not just on the financial support and transportation, but on the comfort of knowing he's just in the next room if I need him. I guess it's not a good attitude for a military spouse to have, since he can be called away at any time, but I'm still a happier person when he's coming home every night.
Right now he's off at a conference in VA. He was supposed to be home at the end of the week; due to an accident involving a friend's toddler attemptin to fly, her fingernail and Andrew's eye it may take a bit longer before he can safely make the drive home. I'm less than thrilled by this.
Oh well, enough with the pity party. I wish he were here. Until he is, I can get the kids to bed by myself.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-15 01:29 am (UTC)Nonetheless, it can't be easy for you, stuck at home, with the difficulties you have in getting around. I'm sorry. I hope he heads home soon, healthy, and able to give you the help you need.
Hugs from Allie.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-15 11:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-15 08:19 pm (UTC)So sorry.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-16 09:55 am (UTC)it's actually really awful for me - i swore my whole life i WOULD NOT ever have to have a man "take care of me" [pay the bills and etc]. i don't know if you have that issue, too - but if you do, and your being worried about him being deployed, and when he's away, etc, these are apparantly not just "normal" but "expected" in women who become disabled before "their time".
[phych talk, obviously - i was railing about it to an old friend who i went to college with the first time, when i was a phychology major. she let me rant, and then said "well, what do you expect? you were raised, like every other girl in the US before 1990 or so, to KNOW that it was YOUR job to take care of others. if someone is ill, you take care of them, even if you are ill, too. it's an ingrained societal expectation, that's bugging you because now *you* need to be taken care of, but you still feel that it's YOU who are supposed to take care of everyone ELSE, because it's YOUR job to take care of people, and everyone else's job to be taken care of." and i know she's right - but i still, every time i have to ask someone to help me get dressed or help me take a shower, things that i absolutely canNOT do without help, that i am doing something WRONG by needed help and by not "taking care" of someone... sigh]
erm. anyway - i send GoodThoughts, and if you need to talk or anything, i'm here - we don't have identical circumstance, obviously, but similar. *hugs*