LJ Idol Week 5: Bearing False Witness

[deza]

There's a gal out in Texas who decided that if she told her husband she had breast cancer, he wouldn't leave her. So she shaved her head and told everyone she was on chemo. The community was so moved by her situation they held a fundraiser to offset her medical bills and raised over $10,000. She used the money to get breast implants. The doctor performing the cosmetic surgery knew about the fundraiser, and called the police on her.

In 1991 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 20 when I found the lump, 21 when I went through surgery and two months of chemo. The first doctor told me it couldn't be cancer because it just didn't develop in women that young. He was wrong. I hid it from my friends, having lunch every day pretending life was normal and sneaking away two afternoons a week to be hooked to an IV of drugs. One of my friends was going through his own cancer battle at the time, and the last thing I wanted was to be perceived as drama queening by suddenly revealing my own problems. I wore baseball caps every day so no one would notice my rapidly thinning hair, and blessed the long sleeves that hid my bruises and IV marks. Only my boyfriend, my best friend and my mother knew what was going on, and even they didn't know the full extent of the treatment. I can't imagine why anyone would fake going through the pain, fear and humiliation of that process.

Some still do. It's because of shysters playing the system that the process of applying for Social Security Disability Income is so difficult and often takes three to five years of repeated rejections, lawyers and court visits to finish. It's a whole lot of work for a payment that maxes out at less than $1000 a month.

Last month, I swallowed my pride and asked for financial help from my friends list. I'm still flabbergasted by how many people were willing to help out in a really rough situation. Of course every penny has been swallowed by Zombie!Move (it's still trying to eat my brain). As soon as we're settled, I'm going to start paying back a large amount of it. I've already started paying forward on the rest, as I can. I honestly couldn't live with myself if I didn't. There's something fundamentally wrong with taking money from people and giving nothing in return.

I hope Ms Trista Joy Lathern learns something from her experience. I hope she learns that there are good people out there, folks who are willing to give freely to help someone in need. I hope she learns that this generosity is something to be treasured and spread to others. The outpouring of love from the community is worth so much more than a selfish girl's vanity. It's a shame that her lies will taint the act of giving in the memories of the people she defrauded for years to come.

This has been my entry for Week 5 of LJ Idol. This was a difficult entry for me, and I seriously considered making this week a bye week. I highly recommend reading some of the other entries. There are some great, thought-provoking entries this week.

Comments

[deza.livejournal.com]

The level of selfishness involved just boggles me.

I haven't been commenting, but I've been keeping up with your struggles and successes. Congratulations with the NaNo! I know you'll do just as well with the SSDI.

[oneonthefence.livejournal.com]

It's OK - you've been understandably busy.

Thank you on both counts! It was great to finish NaNo so early this year, and I hope the SSDI meeting goes well. I'm nervous, but I'm pretty sure that's common :) At least I already have an attorney on my side, which does help.

[deza.livejournal.com]

I may have passed this on already, but one friend of mine told me if she had her five-year SSDI fight to do over, she'd have gotten a lawyer first thing. Having him in your corner is one of the best things you could have done. It's kind of ironic--if you're sick enough to really need SSDI, you're probably too sick to manage the whole process on your own.

[oneonthefence.livejournal.com]

There was no way in hell I could do this alone. The paperwork - just the first 10 pages - has worn me out so much that I could break down. My attorney is hard to get in touch with (as most are - my dad's a lawyer, I know the process) but at least he is in my corner, telling me what to write and what appointments to attend and how to do what I'm doing. I'm not sure I'd know if I had to do this alone. But I couldn't do it by myself anymore. It took a long time to admit that I needed help, but now - I definitely need help. I'm just glad people are willing to give it and accept my thank yous (and a lot of good karma) right now, since I don't have much to give back in return but my love and respect.