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dezaI'm sure that everyone has heard about the Isla Vista/UCSB shooting by now. If by some chance you haven't, a disaffected 22-year-old guy decided that since no woman had ever thrown herself at him demanding sex (seriously; he stated he didn't approach anyone himself) then it was up to him to "punish" all the pretty blue-eyed blonde girls that weren't sleeping with him. He killed 6 people and wounded thirteen before turning the gun on himself.
Cheery, ain't it?
One of the things that has come about after this is #YesAllWomen. During the initial outrage reaction on social media sites, many men felt they were being unfairly targeted as dangerous to women, and began using #NotAllMen. #YesAllWomen puts into words the unspoken realities that American women face on a daily basis.
1 in 5 American women are raped (or survive an attempted rape). This adds up to 22 million women.
A sexual assault occurs every 90 seconds.
1 in 3 murdered women were killed by a sexual partner.
15 out of 16 rapists go free. Only 6% of rapists actually serve jail time.
Less than half of all domestic violence crimes are reported to police.
Those numbers are frightening -- and they only show reported crimes. Most women are socialized to accept that there is a very large chance that we will be beaten, raped, or murdered. We're told how to dress to avoid being raped, how to carry our keys to fight off an attacker, to travel in packs because it's safer, to send out texts to friends before and after dates so if we disappear someone knows the name of our killer.
Guys, this is why your girlfriend can't go to the bathroom by herself in a crowded bar. There's no guarantee she'd make it back.
My contribution to #YesAllWomen on Twitter was "Because the cops told me not to waste their time filing a rape report."
What I could have added:
Because my son hears rape jokes every day.
Because my daughter has gotten leers and catcalls since she was 11.
Twenty-eight fraternity brothers took turns sexually assaulting me as Little Sister "initiation."
My job as a Little Sister was to be the Welcome Mat.
I was fired from more than one job because I wouldn't screw my boss.
I still have PTSD flashbacks, 20 years later.
I'm afraid to lose weight because I was raped more often when I was "pretty".
My ex-BF found a place to dispose of my body.
My ex-husband bought a .22 and told me it was the gun he would use to kill me.
Because rapists look like everybody else.
The sad thing is, this is nothing new. Women have dealt with these same fears and threats for as long as we've been human. And there's nothing we, as women, can do to change it. Until the men decide it's time to stop making rape socially acceptable in their peer groups, this will keep right on happening.
So, whatcha gonna do?
This has been my entry for Week 10 of LJI. The topic was “If you have come here to help me, you are wasting our time”. Thank you for reading.
Cheery, ain't it?
One of the things that has come about after this is #YesAllWomen. During the initial outrage reaction on social media sites, many men felt they were being unfairly targeted as dangerous to women, and began using #NotAllMen. #YesAllWomen puts into words the unspoken realities that American women face on a daily basis.
1 in 5 American women are raped (or survive an attempted rape). This adds up to 22 million women.
A sexual assault occurs every 90 seconds.
1 in 3 murdered women were killed by a sexual partner.
15 out of 16 rapists go free. Only 6% of rapists actually serve jail time.
Less than half of all domestic violence crimes are reported to police.
Those numbers are frightening -- and they only show reported crimes. Most women are socialized to accept that there is a very large chance that we will be beaten, raped, or murdered. We're told how to dress to avoid being raped, how to carry our keys to fight off an attacker, to travel in packs because it's safer, to send out texts to friends before and after dates so if we disappear someone knows the name of our killer.
Guys, this is why your girlfriend can't go to the bathroom by herself in a crowded bar. There's no guarantee she'd make it back.
My contribution to #YesAllWomen on Twitter was "Because the cops told me not to waste their time filing a rape report."
What I could have added:
Because my son hears rape jokes every day.
Because my daughter has gotten leers and catcalls since she was 11.
Twenty-eight fraternity brothers took turns sexually assaulting me as Little Sister "initiation."
My job as a Little Sister was to be the Welcome Mat.
I was fired from more than one job because I wouldn't screw my boss.
I still have PTSD flashbacks, 20 years later.
I'm afraid to lose weight because I was raped more often when I was "pretty".
My ex-BF found a place to dispose of my body.
My ex-husband bought a .22 and told me it was the gun he would use to kill me.
Because rapists look like everybody else.
The sad thing is, this is nothing new. Women have dealt with these same fears and threats for as long as we've been human. And there's nothing we, as women, can do to change it. Until the men decide it's time to stop making rape socially acceptable in their peer groups, this will keep right on happening.
So, whatcha gonna do?
This has been my entry for Week 10 of LJI. The topic was “If you have come here to help me, you are wasting our time”. Thank you for reading.
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(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-01 07:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-01 10:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-02 06:51 pm (UTC)The ex-husband didn't want to be married to a "broken" wife (I have Cascading Autoimmune Disorder; there is no cure) and he didn't want to be known as "that guy that left the crippled woman", so he made plans to remove me from the marriage other ways. He even asked a mutual friend to arrange for me to have a fatal accident, offering the friend 1/4 of my life insurance money. Fortunately my friends are more honorable than my ex. His strategy did work,, though -- I left him. Sadly I also left my health insurance. :/ Guess which one I miss more.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-02 07:16 pm (UTC)I'm sure you miss health insurance more. I've not had any since I turned 19 and couldn't be under my parents. Now, I don't make enough to even afford the "affordable" health care and am not covered under any SSI or Medicare.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-02 10:47 pm (UTC)I just keep reminding myself it could all be worse.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-04 05:03 pm (UTC)I know my friend has Lupus and Reynaud's. I don't know what else. Sadly, she also smokes despite how bad it is for her conditions.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-06-02 10:52 pm (UTC)